Audrey...

Today she is two, and although it feels impossible that two whole years have passed, sometimes it seems as though a decade has gone by. I still have not figured out how time can go by so quickly while simultaneously standing still. She is no longer a baby, and hasn't been for some time, but I've only just begun to notice all of the changes in her small body. Where she once had creases and rolls from baby fat, she now possesses ankles and elbows and knees. Her face looks the same but completely different at the same time. The thick, black hair that covered her head is now nearly blond and falls to the middle of her back. Her blue eyes are the only feature that has remained the same.

The past two years have been much, much harder than they have been easy. I won't sugarcoat anything and pretend that her and I have not had struggles Every. Single. Day. From the moment I first realized that there was something more to the nausea I had been feeling every day for a week, I knew I was in for a challenge. Even her entrance into the world, though without complication, was like a power struggle. From her unwillingness to make her appearance until the last possible second before surgical intervention, and my unwillingness to back down or give up, I knew that we would always challenge each other.

When I truly think about it, I know I wouldn't have it any other way. There are things I would possibly change given the chance, but the experience I've had in this adventure called parenting has forced me to grow and change. God knew that I needed a challenge. That I wouldn't rise to my full potential unless I was driven nearly to my breaking point. I'm never truly satisfied with myself unless I am forced to push my limits, and I hadn't fully realized that about myself until Audrey came along.

All of the struggles and challenges have made the accomplishments that much better. When she has a good day or is particularly cute or sweet, I am able to really and truly appreciate it and not take it for granted.

She is amazingly sweet when she wants to be, and I think that she will grow to be someone who genuinely cares about others. She gets upset if she sees another child crying in the store and often tries to offer them her blankie (even if the kid is four aisles down). She never fails to wave or smile at little old ladies in the store, and she seems to know which ones need just a little extra lift that day. The amazing thing about that is the fact that she really doesn't give up smiles easily to strangers. She is very cautious in new situations and she likes to sit back and take everything in before fully engaging herself.

From the moment she was born, she has been a very active baby. She hit many of the physical milestones like rolling over, crawling, and walking much earlier than most babies her age, and she has continued that trend as a toddler. She runs, jumps, and climbs all over anything that will stay still enough, and she does it with ease. She can somersault, jump nearly a foot in the air with both feet together, and basically anything else that could make a mother cringe. I am amazed daily at the things that she is able to do with her little body.

Her vocabulary increases every day and she is really starting to understand what we say to her and communicate her needs to us. She loves to talk on her toy cellphone and will have a whole conversation with her cousin Toby or Grandma. Her favorite color right now is purple and she goes around pointing at all the "puhple" things. If I go through each letter of the alphabet, she is able to repeat them, and she can "count" to ten ("one, tooos, fiiive, nine, ten!").

I would have never guessed how much things could change after having a baby, but now I can't imagine my life any other way.

So, happy 2nd birthday Audrey Suzanne!

I plan to put links to my pregnancy and birth stories to this post mostly so that I can remember, but also for anyone who would like to read them. I will hopefully finish them soon.